those are words that for most people mean nothing really. Temporary pain that goes away after a while, maybe leaves a scar. For people like me, the pain never really goes away. Some days are good, I can do most things everyone else can, some days I'm lucky if I can get out of bed. This illness of mine has cost me so much. My freedom to enjoy hiking in the woods, to trust my body to do what I tell it to do. You run down a slope and on to the beach and I will stand there and carefully consider the safest way down for me and if once down there and exhausted from the day at the shore, will I be able to get back up. This illness has cost me friends, as who wants to hang out with someone they feel they have to be responsible for the whole time they are out together. It's cost me my dreams of finding true love as no man I've ever met wants to fall in to the role of caretaker that they will inevitably fall in to if they are with me for an extended time. I am a burden and I am aware of it. However I am also beautiful, funny,sensual, loving, giving and a damn good cook. The fact that I have lost faith in anyone ever taking me on makes me sad as they are missing out on something wonderful. I am ill but I am not my illness.
My diagnosis at this time is Fibromyalgia, Osteoarthritis PTSD, Bipolar Disorder and I have hit 6 of 11 markers for Lupus. I'll be keeping track of my symptoms day to day here and maybe just a bit of humor, cause if I can't laugh at this I'll die.
oh! this is me!
Nice to meet you!
my mother has Fibromyalgia. So in a way I can understand what you have to go through. *hugs*
ReplyDeleteWelcome to blogger luv,
ReplyDeleteWondering when you'd migrate from LJ *L*
Been on here a while myself but 99% of the world doesn't know it. haven't updated much lately.
anyway, will keep an eye on ya... if you're ever in Hickory for a visit let me know and I'll give you a reiki attunement
you know I lived in hickory for 11 years. Charlotte before that. Seeing that you know of my LJ you've gotta be someone I know, but who?
ReplyDeleteThink former roomates with blonde hair and kilts.
ReplyDeleteSorry to be obscure but this account is tied to my blog and I don't want my blog to be easily identifiable.
I'll seen a private message via facebook :)